So Long Self?

Karen and I went to a movie tonight and on the way home I heard "So Long Self" by Mercy Me. It got me to thinking about Paul's words about putting off the old self and putting on the new, and I started wondering how this jives with John Wesley's paths of grace. Is the argument that me, who I am is not good enough, and I should completely be throw out everything I've worked to become? Does that mean God is not happy with me as one of His creations, and I should try to be someone who is not me? I don't think so. John Wesley's three forms of grace are provenient (the Holy Hound of Heaven), Justifying (you are forgiven for all you've done up to this point), and Sanctifying (I have finally stopped doing all of the things which put distance between me and God). Paul's words in both Ephesians and Colossians are about putting off the things which put distance between us and God. I'm on that path walking toward complete sanctification. I'm not there yet, but does that mean I need to try to be something I'm not? I don't think God want's posers. The path to complete sanctification is more like the process of refining iron ore. We're going to be tried, and with each trial there is another opportunity to rely more and more God. This being said, we are not taken out of the fire until we seek God in heaven. There is no retirement for Christians or saints. We must not give up. We must not be content to sit the bench, and when our bodies fail we must not give up in our hearts. We must be the people God made us to be and never stop striving to be the person who is reaching out for others.

Our Baby @ 36 Weeks

I didn't even know they could do this with ultra sound. My sister-in-law filled us in that this is what they call a 3D ultrasound, and that insurance doesn't cover it. They didn't even ask us before they switched over. I could complain, but it was really cool to get this first look at baby. The images are a little watery looking because they were taken through the moving and gurgling amniotic fluid in Karen's belly, but Wow! who knew they could take such clear images of the baby while it is still in the womb! The baby is 5lbs 11oz., and is in the 25% of the growth chart, which still in the normal range. The ultrasound tech said the baby is about five days behind it's growth chart for the due date, but when they checked Karen her body is already starting to open the gates. It could still be a couple of weeks, but we think the baby will come sooner than later.

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Today is going to be a long day. Every day this week has been busy and yesterday was much more of a roller coaster than I can go into here. In my devotion time this morning I was reading "A Guide to Prayer for All who Seek God," and found this prayer by Patricia F. Wilson from her book "Quiet Spaces."

"Dear Jesus, during this day help me quiet all the thoughts that fill my head-where I must go,whom I must see, and what I must do. In their place, give me a sense of your order, your peace, and your time.

Help me to understand that you are in control, and I can trust you with my day. Help me to realize that nothing on my to-do list is important if it is not what you want me to do.

I give all my tasks to you and trust you to bing order to them. In these moments, dear Jesus, come to me, be with me, and free me from the tyranny of 'to-do.'" (p347)

I know when Jesus had just something huge, like feeding 5000 people, he often went away by Himself to spend quiet time with God. I am so busy with the "have to's" of my life it is difficult to make that quality time. My body doesn't like getting up early. How John and Charles Wesley would get up at 4am every day to pray is beyond me. However, I see the value in it, and I want that kind of quality time with God. Which means it comes down to the challenge I am always facing - balance. Balance, balance, balance. The more I try to follow God the more I realize my life is like a scale. The difference is instead of two arms on the scale there are three or four and I can only put my time and energy into one platform at a time. I have to have help. My wife has been great, but I do her a disservice if I spend too much time studying, or working and not enough time with her. Plus with a baby on the way I'm going to need God more than ever. I love the Lord, but I do not want to be an absentee father. I need to find better balance, both in the things I control and in the time I make to give things to God.

The Heart of the Matter

Okay. I'm a seminary student which means I read - A LOT! Eye strain is a common problem. To counter this more often than not I read for content so I can write the paper that's probably due the day after tomorrow. Get in. Get out. Write the paper. Move on to what's next. Well stop the presses, I've heard it three times today in three different, non related classes. When it comes to scripture it is important to not only read for content, but to first read for God. What is God trying to say to me through this passage of scripture today? I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I've done enough studying now that it's hard not start IBSing a passage, or thinking about the context of the author. So I am going to start working that angle into my devotions. Hopefully you will start seeing what God has been saying to me through Scripture as opposed to just seeing the information I see in the Bible.

36 Weeks

I love my family and my in-laws so this is too good not to share. My lovely bride is now 36 weeks pregnant. Our baby is do a month from last Saturday, and we couldn't be more excited. Sunday we were roaming around BabiesRUs trying to wrap up a few last minute details, and we had this question about sleep sacks. So my wife texted her sister who has an 18 month old. Her sister told us they didn't really use one and they tell you in the hospital to just use a baby blanket to wrap the baby up like a burrito. I'm a guy. It's a great mental image. I got it. My brother-in-law does video editing for a living and sent us this video. The 18 month old in the video is anxious because my brother-in-law is using her baby doll to demonstrate how to wrap a baby like a burrito. This is great! I hope you enjoy.

...well...err... it took way too long to load into this blog, but you'll have to trust me when I say it's great. Maybe I'll try again later.

Be Prepared

The day I more fully devoted myself to Christ I was thinking a lot about my days as a Boy Scout when it dawned on me there is a lot more to being prepared than I thought as I child. I remember that first camping trip. I think my mother packed my bag and I must have had not only the kitchen sink, but the washer and dryer too. This was being prepared with everything I could possibly need. When I got a little older and started back packing, and  learned there were things I could do without. However, as I got older, always wondering what I should be prepared to handle when life is constantly throwing curve balls began to make me paranoid and pessimistic about what was around the corner. I think it was a part of my growing up to realize I have to be prepared for things to go well. On the day I fully devoted myself to Christ I realized the thing I should have been prepared to give it all to God first.

In my devotion time this morning I came across Matthew 6:16-18 where Jesus explains to them in their fasting they should not allow themselves to look bad. That just draws attention to yourself and the aid of others. That's not the point. The point is to grow more fully reliant on God. It reminds me of James 1:2-4. However, when life sends curve ball after curve ball again and again it is hard to seek ye first the kingdom of God. What I like about the passage from James is it is followed with hope in verses three and four. Part of discipleship is withstanding the crud life has to throw at you, and that is not always easy. It can make us hard, paranoid and pessimistic if we try to withstand it on our own. However, like fasting, perseverance in faith can help us to become more reliant on God for His help. Why is it we are so eager to attack the problem on our own? Why is it I am so quick wade in and solve a problem, and so slow to give it to God first and ask for His assistance?